Posted in Life, Writing

Everything I Eat Tastes Like Throat Lozenge: A Memoir

I accidentally took someone else’s socks out of the dryer today when I did laundry, which means two things: they accidentally left them behind, and I didn’t check.

Gross. I threw them out. I thought for a moment to be a good person and put them back in the laundry room, but I didn’t feel like taking the elevator all the way down three floors. Fortunately, it was two matching socks, and not just one. Which means there’s no chance their owner had one, and was desperately searching for its twin. Out of sight, out of mind, I always say. I don’t actually always say that.

I’m sick, and I’ve been taking a few days to disconnect from WordPress (and from my mind) to focus on other life stuff and to rest. I’ve felt negligent. But I have some exciting ideas for future blog posts which are currently incubating in my saved drafts. I’ll take my time to write them and make them the best they can be before I publish them, but I’m really looking forward to putting them out into the world. I hope you’ll enjoy them too.

To tide you over, here are some current goings-on in my life. You know, to keep you updated.

  • Current position: sitting; leftist
  • Current state: alive; under the weather; Washington; solid
  • Currently reading: Yes Please, by Amy Poehler; into something I said probably 6 years and 4 months ago
  • Currently playing: Xenoblade Chronicles 2
  • Current weather: rainy and cool, with a chance of sarcasm (but not meatballs)
  • Current favorite albumInner Monologue Pt. 1 by Julia Michaels
  • Currently watchingWill & Grace, the original series, for the millionth time over, and Homecoming
  • Currently in view: my phone screen; my ceiling in the background, as I’ve changed positions since I began writing this list and am now lying down; boyfriend in left peripheral; candle burning in right peripheral
  • Current (new) position: lying down; leftist still
  • Currently thinking: ‘hmm, what am I currently thinking?’
  • Currently wishing: that there were more hours in the day to dedicate enough time to everything and everyone
  • Currently wondering: why bad people happen to good animals
  • Currently dreading: having to set an alarm for tomorrow
  • Currently missing: my family and hometown friends; Texas Roadhouse since they don’t exist in Seattle 😑
  • Currently working on: writing a book 😄; myself; learning to code; parking effectively so I avoid getting tickets; bettering my French
  • Current time: 1:21 a.m. pacific time (as of this bullet point)
  • Currently craving: a good night’s rest; a milkshake
  • Currently wanting: enough money to fully furnish the apartment and buy all the things
  • Currently feeling: unwell; fatigued; a little homesick; lost; snackish
  • Current unsavory habit(s): avoiding confrontation; frequently drinking energy drinks
  • Currently proud of: myself for what I’ve accomplished, for taking back the reigns in various aspects of my life
  • Currently regretting: not holding myself accountable in certain respects
  • Currently planning: a trip to Denver in May, to Buffalo in July; my return to school in the next year to complete my Bachelor’s
  • Currently imagining: what it will be like if/when I reach all the goals I’ve set for myself
  • Current fruit of choice: Bosc pears 🍐
  • Current drink of choice: limeade
  • Currently driving: a 2001 Crown Victoria; myself and my boyfriend crazy probably
  • Currently doing: blogging
  • Currently breathing: yeah

With that, I shall leave you for the time being. I’d like to note before I go, though, that it is now 1:53 a.m., which means it took me 32 minutes to write everything between the current time bullet point, and the end of this post. Which, in turn, means that I thought long and hard about what to write, so I could share some deep, introspective ass content with you.

You’re welcome and I’ll see you next time.

Posted in Pocket Poetry, Writing

9:49

Indifference has steamrolled me

into a flat fucking mess

And now I am but a pattern mishap

on the tarmac

I sacrifice sleep to allow

these thoughts to freely flow

To allow the apathy

to freely grow

But he who has no spine knows best:

He is shapeless and malleable;

able to change

While I am fully formed and solid

and I stand firm

in the impermanence

of feeling

Posted in Pocket Poetry, Writing

Inherently

I inherently trust that the car

next to me won’t veer into my lane

I trust that those who have my best interest in mind

won’t offer me advice riddled with

ulterior motives

Inherently I trust that the change I receive

will be all but counterfeit

I trust that my gut should be trusted

I inherently trust that the birds overhead

will stay at their height

That the leaves will fall in Fall

That the snow will in Winter

and the trucks will fishtail along the freeways

That it’ll be warm enough to complain

in the Summer

That my face will swell with congestion

and frustration in Spring

Inherently I trust

that nobody is watching me through my microwave

or through the vented fan in the bathroom

I trust inherently

that he’ll come home to me

every evening

I inherently trust that he’s at work

every day when he says he is

And inherently I trust

the interim periods

I trust inherently that the lights will flicker on

when I flip the switch

And similarly,

they’ll come on, I trust, when I am provoked

Inherently I trust

that a building’s structure will hold,

and I won’t fall through the floor

I trust that an egg will sizzle

when cracked over a skillet

That the butter will spread

when manipulated by knife

That my soda isn’t laced

with arsenic or some poison

That that bump on his finger

is benign

But what am I awarded

for inherently trusting?

It’s less an active choice, and more

a natural inclination

Every day, in everyday things

It would take but one misstep

to dismantle my certitude

Coat me in anxiety

and force me onward

This time, with

a crook in my neck,

a lump in my throat,

a bump on my head

A dissociative smile

Yet forward, I’ll continue

to make

the same

mistakes

Posted in Blogosphere, Writing

Bridging The Gaps: A 2019 Exposition

I’ve been blogging, and writing in general, quite a bit over the past few days. It feels wonderful, as it’s something that has fallen by the wayside lately.

Receiving ‘likes’ and notifications of new followers really fuels my fire. It stirs up desire into a little vortex within me, and I want to write more and more. Receiving comments pushes me over the edge. On some level, it makes me codependent. These kinds of things validate me, and the subjects I choose. I do require that validation to make me feel like I have an audience, and having an audience prevents my interest from waning. (Exceptions do arise, but from outside influences, such as the kraken of mental welfare and life-stuff.)

One of my resolutions upon moving here was to give way to old, but tried and true, hobbies. Outside of the blogosphere, I’ve taken on a pretty major writing project which takes up a lot of my brain-space these days. More on that at a later time. But the intrinsic butterfly notion I feel when I put my fingers to the keyboard is something that goes previously unmatched. I can’t seem to eloquently be able to describe it, but it’s a big part of my identity, and I take great pride in that.

I’ve begun reading again, and there’s nothing quite like unboxing a freshly delivered package and smelling the pages of your new books. I’m currently reading Yes Please by Amy Poehler, and Supermarket by Bobby Hall (Logic) just arrived yesterday. That one I cannot wait to dive into, nose-first.

My promise to myself and to you as a reader is to keep going. Life will poke its head in at inconvenient times. I will stay up too late to crank out that last-minute post. Time will get away from me. But as long as I continue to bridge the gaps in between, and ensure my intermittent absences don’t turn into gaping chasms of time away, I hope to still hold your interest throughout. At the very least, I hope to consistently be happy with my output. I believe these are attainable goals.

Riding the high of a newfound lease on life and my passions, I’d like to insert a shameless, self-promotional plug before I come down. You’re reading Wordsmith, but I’d like to point you in the direction of my two other blogs:

  • FoodsmithThis project, my food blog, materialized briefly in 2015 and quickly dissipated into the multiverse not long after its inception. I’m bringing it out of the dust and tweaking it a bit. It will henceforth include chronicles of my first-time experiences at various restaurants, coffee shops, and eateries of all types. (Similar to Yelp, but less succinct and more anecdotal in nature.) Recipes will still be thrown into the mix, albeit sparsely, as I don’t cook or bake often. Also, any future Trader Joe’s product reviews or recommendations will find their home there.
  • Chanter en Yaourt – I only just created this blog days ago, specifically with the intention to log my French studies. So, those posts will nestle in rather nicely in their very own blog going forward.

Over time, Wordsmith became a sort of catch-all for subject matter that deviated slightly outside of my original idea for the blog. There are no rules to follow or guidelines to adhere to, sure, but in an effort to be more organized, I decided to divide and conquer, if you will. That said, Wordsmith will retain all things [English] language, poetry, prose, and ‘journal entry’ type posts.

I hope you’ll follow along and enjoy the ride with me. 🙂

I’ll see you here, I’ll see you there, I’ll see you everywhere.

Posted in Foreign Language, Poetry, Writing

Le trottoir

J’ai fait une petite promenade

à côté de la rue

car c’est où

on peut regarder le monde

pendant qu’il passe


via Daily Prompt: Sidewalk

Posted in Pocket Poetry, Poetry, Writing

Your edge of the world

There are thousands of miles between

your golden coast

and mine concrete

Thousands of things to go wrong

potential for heartache

potential for loss

Potential for fresh faces turned

weather beaten moss

Thousands of reasons not to

thousands of reasons I want to

With every step towards

your edge of the world

I am more confident

that this is crazy

and more confident

in the path ahead

Just so long as it

leads me to swim

in your eyes


https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/eyes/

Posted in Pocket Poetry, Poetry, Writing

Carpe occasionem

Overtly

Bent on

Seizing

Every

Single

Slightly

Entrenching

Dalliance


https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/obsessed/

Posted in Pocket Poetry, Poetry, Writing

Buoyant

I am breathless

Blue in the face

eyes lifeless

below the surface

But if you flip

the perspective

then suddenly

My head becomes

above water

So is it

all in my mind?

Or

all in my lungs?


https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/surface/

Posted in Pocket Poetry, Poetry, Writing

Hung up

via Daily Prompt: Maybe


Maybe they’re not obstacles,

but mere extra steps

Forcing me to think the thoughts

I hung up to dry

but that I could never quite get

wrinkle-free

Maybe

Maybe I am set to be

the minnow to your stream

Wriggling away from

near-certain death

beneath prepubescent heels

And though I may cheat demise

a couple dozen times

Who’s to say I won’t swim

into the mouth

of my most famed predator?

Or be hung up myself?

It very well

may come to be

Maybe

Posted in Foreign Language, Writing

L’histoire de l’aubergine

Au travail aujourd’hui, une cliente s’est approché de ma caisse poussant un chariot plein de courses. Parmi les courses, il y avait une aubergine qui avait une déformation. Normalement, les clients ne veulent pas acheter des produits avec des déformations, mais cette femme a donné une chance à l’aubergine. Voici une photo :

image
Ses enfants l’avaient même décorés.

Mon amie m’a dit que ça ressemblait à Skeeter de l’émission (dessin animé) « Doug » :

image
MDR

Qu’en pensez-vous ? Achèteriez-vous du produit comme ça ? Si vous avez eu des expériences similaires, racontez-en dans un commentaire. 🙂

(S’il vous plaît, n’hésitez pas à corriger mes erreurs. Je voudrais bien à améliorer mon français.)